beer bitch

Mom's home from the hospital now and mostly just taking acetaminophen, but she still comes out with some wackiness.  

Important things to know for this one: 
1) We've given Mom a bell to ring if she needs us and we're asleep or far away.
2) Libby is a cat.



It's about 2am and Leah hears the bell ring repeatedly.
Leah: What do you need, Mom?
(The bell rings again)
Leah (who just fell asleep and has to get up in 3 hours):  What do you need, Mom? 
Mom: I need to report a violation.
Leah: What?
Mom: I need to report a violation. Libby won't get me a beer.
Leah: What the crap are you talking about?
Mom: Libby isn't a good beer bitch.
Leah: Seriously? This is why you rang the bell? Julie, you need to get out here. Mom needs to report a violation and I need to get some sleep.
Mom: Libby isn't a good beer bitch. Maybe I need to pay her more.
Julie: Mom, we're going to take your bell away. I don't think you understand what the bell is for.

Mom gets settled and we go back to sleep. About ten minutes later the bell rings again.

Leah: What, Mom?
Mom: Goddamn Mississippi River.